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Daily Archives: November 19, 2009

It’s often quite difficult to talk about once having been an abused spouse because it elicits expressions of sympathy and overshadows the point of the posts or articles. It’s not about sympathy for me but looking out for my country. I’m okay. We are not okay.

There have been a few times when I’ve said that Obama reminds me of my ex-husband. My ex-husband is not a black man. You see, I lived with a narcissist for 23 years. That experience is why I recognize the same in President Barack Obama.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include (Source: Mayo Clinic):

    Believing that you’re better than others
    Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
    Exaggerating your achievements or talents
    Expecting constant praise and admiration
    Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
    Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
    Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
    Taking advantage of others
    Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
    Being jealous of others
    Believing that others are jealous of you
    Trouble keeping healthy relationships
    Setting unrealistic goals
    Being easily hurt and rejected
    Having a fragile self-esteem
    Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

You can look at that list all day long and not understand what you’re seeing in Obama without some examples.

During the last months/weeks of finalizing my divorce from the narcissist in my life, one of my friends confessed something to me one day. She lived on a hill in a wooded area that had been discovered to have old Indian burial grounds. I seemed to have a knack for finding things like that. One time when my husband and I were visiting I had gone off looking for something. She and he struck up a conversation about me, her telling him things about me he apparently didn’t know but should have after 23 years of marriage. The problem was, he didn’t recognize those qualities in himself and I was not a separate person from him in his world. It was when he asked her who she was talking about when it dawned on her that he didn’t even know me.

The narcissist sees everyone in his life as extensions of himself (or herself, although clinical narcissism is more common in men). They are not recognized as separate entities with individual strengths and weaknesses. This country as a whole, is now an extension of Obama. We are not separate beings with our own thoughts and failings or strengths and weaknesses.

The matter of the terrorist trials being held in New York give us an example via Politico.com:

“I don’t think it will be offensive at all when he’s convicted and when the death penalty is applied to him,” Obama told NBC’s Chuck Todd.

When Todd asked Obama if he was interfering in the trial process by declaring that Mohammed will be executed, Obama, a former constitutional law professor, insisted that he wasn’t trying to dictate the result.

In Obama’s mind he’s setting right a wrong, according to the view of his world. It’s inconceivable that his right thing would be very wrong for those whom it most concerns, namely those who experienced deep loss from the attack on the World Trade Center. 9/11/2001. And he exhibits no understanding they would feel any different about the issue.

“What I said was, people will not be offended if that’s the outcome. I’m not pre-judging, I’m not going to be in that courtroom, that’s the job of prosecutors, the judge and the jury,” Obama said. “What I’m absolutely clear about is that I have complete confidence in the American people and our legal traditions and the prosecutors, the tough prosecutors from New York who specialize in terrorism.”

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